The Random Griffith

Still posting from the land of Komputenfugginzuppinbeschrungklunkenzeit.

Posted in Uncategorized by Jackson Griffith on 04/03/2010

Ach. I am needing ze help und awaiting ze krankenhausenwagen for my computer troubles. This, in the parlance of the more gauche and douchebaggy among us, suckenzeweinersausagen. I am not amused. I was all set to tell you how I am a student at a small midwestern college, and until this very moment or at least this morning, I had been wholly convinced that the letters to “Forum” were fiction, but then just last night I was urinating on some sort of cypress-related bush in front of a rather posh residence in one of the nicer neighborhoods of the midwestern town in which I attend a small college, or perhaps it was a hedge, or somebody’s hedge fund, when I was delighted to feel the hands of two Swedish flight attendants, one on either side of me, on my IKEA light fixture, which I had not quite yet recloistered in my trousers. “Haha,” they laughed. “We must be taking you to your dorm room for a little three-way rumpypumpy, because we have lost our way back to Stockholm or Chicago or maybe it is Minneapolis. You will follow us now.” And I had no choice in the matter, so I did.

But I digress. I get distracted. These computer problems are keeping me from making the kind of blog posts that will entertain you, they are keeping me from writing the stories that will make me money, and they are driving me, in the parlance of certain commentators, batshit crazy, or as they say south of the border or at Del Taco corporate board meetings, guano loco. As I said before, I am not at all amused by this. It is very difficult and stupid. I cannot go into details, but I’ll just say that this is soooo vexing, and I am tired.

Hope to have it squared away presently. Or sometime. This blows. —Jackson Griffith


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